The movement of grief
Grief is heavy, exhausting, and painful, but it is fundamentally a process of movement. The nervous system is actively working to integrate a new, painful reality. If you observe someone who is grieving, their emotional and physical state is often dynamic. They might feel profound sorrow in the morning, experience a brief moment of joy or humor in the afternoon, and feel a surge of anger in the evening.
Grief comes in waves. Between the waves, there is often still a connection to the self and to others. The capacity to feel love, empathy, and connection remains intact, even if it is overshadowed by the pain of the loss.
The stillness of depression
Depression, on the other hand, is characterized by an absence of movement. It is a static, stuck state. In polyvagal theory, depression is understood as a dorsal vagal collapse—the body's ultimate defense mechanism when it believes it is trapped in an unsurvivable situation. The nervous system shuts down to conserve energy.
Unlike grief, which is sharp and dynamic, depression is often blunt and flat. The primary sensation is not necessarily sadness, but emptiness, numbness, or a profound lack of motivation. The waves stop moving. The capacity to feel joy, connection, or even sharp pain is blunted.
"Yoga does not change the way we see things, it transforms the person who sees." — B.K.S. Iyengar, Light on Life
Supporting the body through both
Because grief and depression are different physiological states, they require different support.
When the body is grieving, it needs comfort, rest, and a safe container to process the waves of emotion. In therapeutic yoga, we support a grieving body with deeply restorative poses that hold the physical weight of the body, allowing the nervous system to rest between the waves of processing.
When the body is depressed, it needs gentle, safe mobilization. The nervous system is stuck in "off," so we must slowly coax it back online. We use supported chest openers and deliberate, rhythmic breathing to gently stimulate the sympathetic nervous system, proving to the body that it has the energy and safety to move again.